It started with throwing a load of towels in the washer. Granted, we have a pool, but there is only my husband and myself living here. I did a load of towels three days ago yet I counted 10+ towels as I tossed them into the washer.
Side note: I wasn't actually the one counting! Mrs. Richardson started the counting, which will come as no surprise to any of you. She is of the mind that an immense amount of waste and inefficiency goes on around here! It went something like:
7...8...9..(passive aggressive sigh)...10...
An acapella chorus of "shut up's" interrupts her count.
We know she continued to count under her breath as the occasional passive aggressive sighs continued and could not, in any way, be construed to be "under her breath."
Once the washer started its cycle, Mrs. Richardson stepped into the kitchen and caught the entire crew gathered around the island dipping spoons into a jar of nectarine-jalapeno jam.
(Cue the sigh!) "If we are all so well integrated in one cohesive personality is there any reason for separate towels and separate spoons?"
I often wonder if she was born with her hands on her hips, it comes so natural to her. Maybe she was a Marine drill sergeant in a past life!
We ignored her. We know it's rude but we pick our battles. While we all know that ignorance is bliss, we have also discovered that ignoring can be blissful, too.
After the last spoon was rinsed and deposited into the dishwasher, BabaMara reached into one of her many pockets, pulling out a folded sheet of rainbow colored paper with a long list of questions scrawled on one side. "As long as we are all present and accounted for..." (was that another one of those p.a. sighs that we are so good at ignoring?)...I believe that we are due for a Life Review!"
BabaMara believes as Socrates believed, "an unexamined life is not worth living!"
Beatrice, being the grump that she is, hates examining anything but other people's mistakes, miscalculations and manipulations! God forbid she should be forced to examine her own! I, for one, believe that if she were to closely examine her own mistakes & miscalculations & manipulations, she might slip into the ethers. While that may leave the rest of us in peace, it would only give us Mrs. Richardson to harass and Carly-Anne to tease and where is the fun in that? Beatrice is a challenge and dodging flying objects is the only serious exercise we get!
"What positive changes have you made to your life?" BabaMara asks, looking directly into my eyes (which, by the way, is a difficult trick to accomplish from the inside!).
I passed my turn on to Carly-Anne, who was doodling on a napkin!
"What? Why are you all looking at me?"
"Pay attention Carly-Anne." BabaMara repeated the question as she gently took the pencil from Carly-Anne and dropped it into one of her deepest pockets.
"Mmm, well..."
"Deep subject"
"Stop it, Bill!"
Carly-Anne continued her stammering, "I, uh, I spend a lot more time in the studio drawing and sculpting Rosaries and less time baking brownies and melting butter for popcorn. When I can't sleep, I get up to paint instead of tossing and turning!"
"Very nice, Carly-Anne, you've come a long way. Ms. Machado, what have you done lately in the way of positive changes to your life?"
"Our Kindle is the most positive change for me. I can read, read, read. I don't have to wait for a ride to Barnes and Noble or the library. What a miracle of technology!"
I happen to agree with Ms. Machado, mostly! I love the Kindle but there are still those tomes that need to be held, to be highlighted and underlined. There are stories that need the scent of paper and ink, the tactile experience of page turning, to be fully realized. If you are reading to a child, there is a certain suspense and excitement that builds as each page is slowly turned.
As I write these thoughts, I look around and everyone, including Mrs. Richardson and Beatrice are nodding. It's nice to know that there some things we agree on!
"Bill? What about you?"
"Let me e'splain...no, there is too much, let me sum up..."
"No Princess Bride, Bill! What positive changes have YOU made?"
"In the past week alone I have watched The Abominble Dr. Phibes four times, The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai in the Eigth Dimension 8 times, Post Cards From The Edge several times. The couple of times Machado, over there, put down the dang Kindle, I read four of Koontz's Odd Thomas books. Man! I picked up some great material!" Pulling the Marlboro box from his sleeve to roll his own cigarette he continued. "You'll all be able to relate to this one. "Given my heritage and the ordeal of my childhood, I sometimes wonder why I myself am not insane. Maybe I am!""
"Nothing like maximal ambition!" Oh Beatrice! Where's the tolerance?
BabaMara raised one eyebrow as she pulled a pretty little jelly jar from one of her many pockets and placed it in front of Beatrice, who immediately motioned a tick-tock, tick-a-lock-throw-away-the-key with lips pressed tightly closed.
"Beatrice, what positive change have you made?"
Beatrice pointed to her firmly closed mouth! The gang applauded and congratulated her for a job well done! Wouldn't it be nice if she really threw away the key?
"Dear Sinthya, it's your turn!"
"So much, so much. I tossed out those monstrous flannel sheets from our bed and replaced them with soft bamboo linens. I purchased 3 bottles of Opi polish, Umpires Come Out At Night which our toes are beautifully wearing," (all heads duck under the table for a peek) "Blue My Mind to go with my new bra and bikinis and some silly little pink for Carly-Anne when she cleans the clay out from under her nails. I stocked the refrigerator with some feta and blue cheese, green grapes...and...let me think....oh, I replace the batteries in...."
"Thank you, Sinthya! You are very thoughtful!"
"De nada, Senora Baba, es mi placer."
"Mrs. Richardson?"
"Yes! I sharpened all my pencils, I arranged the pantry items in alphabetical order and I finished the flyer that you all kept putting off for weeks."
Have you ever seen seven characters do a completely synchronous eye roll?
"BaraMara , y usted?"
"Positive changes I have made to my life!" BabaMara fluffs her skirt and pulls out another rainbow colored sheet of paper. She reads, "I promised myself to count to 13 before depositing anyone into a jelly jar and to use only the prettiest jelly jars from now on. I danced in the light of the full moon, I listened to the angels play their cellos while swimming in the dark of the new moon. I sewed four extra pockets onto my favorite skirt and filled them with mugwort for lucid dreaming, cedar and sandlewood for the third eye and sea shells just because I like them. Saturday evening I took plum jam to the elves and they treated me to jasmine brandy and barbequed mushrooms. I have a massage scheduled for tonight and tomorrow morning we will have french toast with honeysuckle syrup."
Sitting a little taller around the table, we immersed ourselves in the positive energy of self care.
"Can we go?" whispered Carly-Anne.
"No, we have more questions to answer!"
"Can't we examine our lives tomorrow?"
Bill might spent the last week absorbed in cult classics but he never gives up on the old standby, Groundhog Day,
Side note: I wasn't actually the one counting! Mrs. Richardson started the counting, which will come as no surprise to any of you. She is of the mind that an immense amount of waste and inefficiency goes on around here! It went something like:
7...8...9..(passive aggressive sigh)...10...
An acapella chorus of "shut up's" interrupts her count.
We know she continued to count under her breath as the occasional passive aggressive sighs continued and could not, in any way, be construed to be "under her breath."
Once the washer started its cycle, Mrs. Richardson stepped into the kitchen and caught the entire crew gathered around the island dipping spoons into a jar of nectarine-jalapeno jam.
(Cue the sigh!) "If we are all so well integrated in one cohesive personality is there any reason for separate towels and separate spoons?"
I often wonder if she was born with her hands on her hips, it comes so natural to her. Maybe she was a Marine drill sergeant in a past life!
We ignored her. We know it's rude but we pick our battles. While we all know that ignorance is bliss, we have also discovered that ignoring can be blissful, too.
After the last spoon was rinsed and deposited into the dishwasher, BabaMara reached into one of her many pockets, pulling out a folded sheet of rainbow colored paper with a long list of questions scrawled on one side. "As long as we are all present and accounted for..." (was that another one of those p.a. sighs that we are so good at ignoring?)...I believe that we are due for a Life Review!"
BabaMara believes as Socrates believed, "an unexamined life is not worth living!"
Beatrice, being the grump that she is, hates examining anything but other people's mistakes, miscalculations and manipulations! God forbid she should be forced to examine her own! I, for one, believe that if she were to closely examine her own mistakes & miscalculations & manipulations, she might slip into the ethers. While that may leave the rest of us in peace, it would only give us Mrs. Richardson to harass and Carly-Anne to tease and where is the fun in that? Beatrice is a challenge and dodging flying objects is the only serious exercise we get!
"What positive changes have you made to your life?" BabaMara asks, looking directly into my eyes (which, by the way, is a difficult trick to accomplish from the inside!).
I passed my turn on to Carly-Anne, who was doodling on a napkin!
"What? Why are you all looking at me?"
"Pay attention Carly-Anne." BabaMara repeated the question as she gently took the pencil from Carly-Anne and dropped it into one of her deepest pockets.
"Mmm, well..."
"Deep subject"
"Stop it, Bill!"
Carly-Anne continued her stammering, "I, uh, I spend a lot more time in the studio drawing and sculpting Rosaries and less time baking brownies and melting butter for popcorn. When I can't sleep, I get up to paint instead of tossing and turning!"
"Very nice, Carly-Anne, you've come a long way. Ms. Machado, what have you done lately in the way of positive changes to your life?"
"Our Kindle is the most positive change for me. I can read, read, read. I don't have to wait for a ride to Barnes and Noble or the library. What a miracle of technology!"
I happen to agree with Ms. Machado, mostly! I love the Kindle but there are still those tomes that need to be held, to be highlighted and underlined. There are stories that need the scent of paper and ink, the tactile experience of page turning, to be fully realized. If you are reading to a child, there is a certain suspense and excitement that builds as each page is slowly turned.
As I write these thoughts, I look around and everyone, including Mrs. Richardson and Beatrice are nodding. It's nice to know that there some things we agree on!
"Bill? What about you?"
"Let me e'splain...no, there is too much, let me sum up..."
"No Princess Bride, Bill! What positive changes have YOU made?"
"In the past week alone I have watched The Abominble Dr. Phibes four times, The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai in the Eigth Dimension 8 times, Post Cards From The Edge several times. The couple of times Machado, over there, put down the dang Kindle, I read four of Koontz's Odd Thomas books. Man! I picked up some great material!" Pulling the Marlboro box from his sleeve to roll his own cigarette he continued. "You'll all be able to relate to this one. "Given my heritage and the ordeal of my childhood, I sometimes wonder why I myself am not insane. Maybe I am!""
"Nothing like maximal ambition!" Oh Beatrice! Where's the tolerance?
BabaMara raised one eyebrow as she pulled a pretty little jelly jar from one of her many pockets and placed it in front of Beatrice, who immediately motioned a tick-tock, tick-a-lock-throw-away-the-key with lips pressed tightly closed.
"Beatrice, what positive change have you made?"
Beatrice pointed to her firmly closed mouth! The gang applauded and congratulated her for a job well done! Wouldn't it be nice if she really threw away the key?
"Dear Sinthya, it's your turn!"
"So much, so much. I tossed out those monstrous flannel sheets from our bed and replaced them with soft bamboo linens. I purchased 3 bottles of Opi polish, Umpires Come Out At Night which our toes are beautifully wearing," (all heads duck under the table for a peek) "Blue My Mind to go with my new bra and bikinis and some silly little pink for Carly-Anne when she cleans the clay out from under her nails. I stocked the refrigerator with some feta and blue cheese, green grapes...and...let me think....oh, I replace the batteries in...."
"Thank you, Sinthya! You are very thoughtful!"
"De nada, Senora Baba, es mi placer."
"Mrs. Richardson?"
"Yes! I sharpened all my pencils, I arranged the pantry items in alphabetical order and I finished the flyer that you all kept putting off for weeks."
Have you ever seen seven characters do a completely synchronous eye roll?
"BaraMara , y usted?"
"Positive changes I have made to my life!" BabaMara fluffs her skirt and pulls out another rainbow colored sheet of paper. She reads, "I promised myself to count to 13 before depositing anyone into a jelly jar and to use only the prettiest jelly jars from now on. I danced in the light of the full moon, I listened to the angels play their cellos while swimming in the dark of the new moon. I sewed four extra pockets onto my favorite skirt and filled them with mugwort for lucid dreaming, cedar and sandlewood for the third eye and sea shells just because I like them. Saturday evening I took plum jam to the elves and they treated me to jasmine brandy and barbequed mushrooms. I have a massage scheduled for tonight and tomorrow morning we will have french toast with honeysuckle syrup."
Sitting a little taller around the table, we immersed ourselves in the positive energy of self care.
"Can we go?" whispered Carly-Anne.
"No, we have more questions to answer!"
"Can't we examine our lives tomorrow?"
Bill might spent the last week absorbed in cult classics but he never gives up on the old standby, Groundhog Day,
"What if there isn't a tomorrow? There wasn't one today!"
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