Beatrice marched around the pool this morning, barking at the rest of us about what fools we are.
I have to be honest here. We almost never listen to Beatrice because she is kind of nasty. She yells, she jumps up and down (Richter Scale 4.2) while she rants and raves. She's the one who blasts the car horn when some idiot on their cell phone cuts us off. She's the one steps forward during bad customer service moments and firmly states, "Excuse me, but I believe your humanity batteries up the wrong channel, may I speak to someone with manners!"
We don't experience these outbursts very often; we try to keep her blocked from rising to the surface unless we are alone. Sinthya is the only one who encourages Beatrice to tell it like it is, "Sin tabues, mamacita!"
The crew sat around the pool in a haze of despondent fog as Beatrice went off on us.
"Lower our expectations? Lower our expectations, you can't get any further under a slug, you spineless idiots! Shove those asses of yours into some big-girl panties and start speaking up. You're letting stuff fester and then you blow up at dumb-shit. Look at all of you! You've got dumb-shit all over yourselves!"
Wrinkling her nose and curling her lip, she bellowed at Bill, "Go get us a dead skunk to cover up the stench of this bunch of losers!"
Bill tossed the cigarette he'd been attempting to roll all morning and headed for the gate.
"Where are you going?" Geeze, was that a bark or a bellow?
"To get a dead skunk!"
"Sit down, Bill! Sit!"
Between the insults, the barking and the bellowing, she really did expose some of our "shit" as she calls it. Slowly, each of us began to witness the truth in what had, at first, seemed to be empty babble.
"Machado! How many times are you going to ask, ever so politely, to be kept in the loop? There is no loop! Get it....NO LOOP! Go to Walmart and get a hula hoop and loop that! Make some rules about how you will and will not be treated! Stand your ground! Make your own loop if you want one! "
"Carly-Anne, go create something beautiful! Don't let these whiners stop you from doing what you do best just because they've got their knickers on backwards! Let them take care of themselves!"
"Richardson! RICHARDSON!....That's right, Mrs. Tension, You, of all people, could have said, "unacceptable" and continued to do your thing, whatever the hell that is, with your uptight suits and spiked pencils? "
Ownership of your faults and short comings is a hard drink to get down. It takes two tablespoons of honey for every teaspoon of acid, but we drank the concoction. We looked ourselves in the mirror and saw it all....kind of hard not to with Beatrice shoving your nose in it, but, I guess if it works.
After going to our own corners and distilling the "aha's" we came back for a good Coach-Lombardo team meeting. We made some promises and proclamations. We signed some contracts with each other and ourselves. We practiced a couple of "remedial back-bone" exercises and received a bit of "speak-your-truth" therapy.
Without Beatrice's intervention, we could possibly still be wallowing in CryMeARiverville at the Whiners Bar and Grill. We owe her.
We're taking her in for a make-over! Yup, we're tossing out the brown pleathor walking shoes and burning the Viking bra. Her little blue dress with the tired pink buttons is history.
Sinthya is demanding that the first items on the list:
1. Eyebrow and upper lip waxing.
2. Toss out the rubber band and bobby pins and give Beatrice's face muscles some relief!
3. Visit to Victoria Secrets
We realize all the icky stuff has been constantly dumped on Beatrice. She's the one who always has to stand the ground; fire at the target; crack the whip; change the tires and check the oil! We've just been along for the ride....she even pushes the car when it's out of gas while we sit inside and bitch about how slow we're going!
Wow! Who knew her hair was so beautiful, down and flowing? BabaMara and Sinthya are teaching her how to french braid. She vetoed make-up and we all agreed, she's beautiful without it.
What do you buy for a skinny woman with DD's, huevos of steel and a lifetime of wisdom?
Dark denim skinny jeans, a kimchi blue tunic top with just the perfect amount of cleavage peeking through the cut lace, sunset-lenses mirrored sun glasses and turquoise Lucchese Kokopelli cowgirl boots just right for kicking butts!
I have to be honest here. We almost never listen to Beatrice because she is kind of nasty. She yells, she jumps up and down (Richter Scale 4.2) while she rants and raves. She's the one who blasts the car horn when some idiot on their cell phone cuts us off. She's the one steps forward during bad customer service moments and firmly states, "Excuse me, but I believe your humanity batteries up the wrong channel, may I speak to someone with manners!"
We don't experience these outbursts very often; we try to keep her blocked from rising to the surface unless we are alone. Sinthya is the only one who encourages Beatrice to tell it like it is, "Sin tabues, mamacita!"
The crew sat around the pool in a haze of despondent fog as Beatrice went off on us.
"Lower our expectations? Lower our expectations, you can't get any further under a slug, you spineless idiots! Shove those asses of yours into some big-girl panties and start speaking up. You're letting stuff fester and then you blow up at dumb-shit. Look at all of you! You've got dumb-shit all over yourselves!"
Wrinkling her nose and curling her lip, she bellowed at Bill, "Go get us a dead skunk to cover up the stench of this bunch of losers!"
Bill tossed the cigarette he'd been attempting to roll all morning and headed for the gate.
"Where are you going?" Geeze, was that a bark or a bellow?
"To get a dead skunk!"
"Sit down, Bill! Sit!"
Between the insults, the barking and the bellowing, she really did expose some of our "shit" as she calls it. Slowly, each of us began to witness the truth in what had, at first, seemed to be empty babble.
"Machado! How many times are you going to ask, ever so politely, to be kept in the loop? There is no loop! Get it....NO LOOP! Go to Walmart and get a hula hoop and loop that! Make some rules about how you will and will not be treated! Stand your ground! Make your own loop if you want one! "
"Carly-Anne, go create something beautiful! Don't let these whiners stop you from doing what you do best just because they've got their knickers on backwards! Let them take care of themselves!"
"Richardson! RICHARDSON!....That's right, Mrs. Tension, You, of all people, could have said, "unacceptable" and continued to do your thing, whatever the hell that is, with your uptight suits and spiked pencils? "
Ownership of your faults and short comings is a hard drink to get down. It takes two tablespoons of honey for every teaspoon of acid, but we drank the concoction. We looked ourselves in the mirror and saw it all....kind of hard not to with Beatrice shoving your nose in it, but, I guess if it works.
After going to our own corners and distilling the "aha's" we came back for a good Coach-Lombardo team meeting. We made some promises and proclamations. We signed some contracts with each other and ourselves. We practiced a couple of "remedial back-bone" exercises and received a bit of "speak-your-truth" therapy.
Without Beatrice's intervention, we could possibly still be wallowing in CryMeARiverville at the Whiners Bar and Grill. We owe her.
We're taking her in for a make-over! Yup, we're tossing out the brown pleathor walking shoes and burning the Viking bra. Her little blue dress with the tired pink buttons is history.
Sinthya is demanding that the first items on the list:
1. Eyebrow and upper lip waxing.
2. Toss out the rubber band and bobby pins and give Beatrice's face muscles some relief!
3. Visit to Victoria Secrets
We realize all the icky stuff has been constantly dumped on Beatrice. She's the one who always has to stand the ground; fire at the target; crack the whip; change the tires and check the oil! We've just been along for the ride....she even pushes the car when it's out of gas while we sit inside and bitch about how slow we're going!
Wow! Who knew her hair was so beautiful, down and flowing? BabaMara and Sinthya are teaching her how to french braid. She vetoed make-up and we all agreed, she's beautiful without it.
What do you buy for a skinny woman with DD's, huevos of steel and a lifetime of wisdom?
Dark denim skinny jeans, a kimchi blue tunic top with just the perfect amount of cleavage peeking through the cut lace, sunset-lenses mirrored sun glasses and turquoise Lucchese Kokopelli cowgirl boots just right for kicking butts!