Small Town Entertainment

We live in a small town, not village-small but small enough that I run into people I recognize or who recognize me all the time. People often walk up to me and ask, "Where do I know you from?"

Now, I live in a small town, so the opportunity for entertainment is pretty limited.  the Crew and  I like to make my/our own fun. We've created a little game of "Where Do I Know You From?" Bill wanted to name it "Yanking Your Chain" but we vetoed it....too obvious even for Beatrice!

It's really fun and there is always room for one more! Would you like us to teach you how to play?

Say, you're sitting in the DMV waiting area and an older woman with knitting needles and yarn is sitting across the aisle from you. She looks up from the ski cap (Green and Gold, obviously a Green Bay fan ). She leans towards you and whispers, "Have we met?"  With as much shock as you can muster, eyebrows raised and arms up, reply, "Oh My God! How can you forget me? I will never forget that dance you did on the bar. That was such a fun night! Did you ever find your bra?"

I know you are trying to figure out which one of the crew said that, but, sadly, it was me, all me!

Next scenario:  You're standing in line at the bank. Some guy in a three piece suit looks you up and down, then staring straight into your boobs asks, "Do I know you?"  Take a little step back. Shaking your head as if looking for an exit and respond, "Oh, I was on the jury at your trial. I bet you looked cute in those orange jumpsuits!"



BabaMara did a good one. Though, as usual, she twisted it up a little. We were at the Farmer's Market at a nice little stand with wonderful veggies.  The merchant was packing up a couple of jars of honey for a customer. She asked her husband if he would help us.  He had been sitting on the tailgate of their pickup truck cleaning the dirt out from under his nails. With a rude huff, he looked up at us.
"Whad'ya want?"  He was a little scary so we decided that we could purchase green chili at another booth. As we turned to walk away, BabaMara waved goodbye to him saying, "How's your bridge? Say hi to the Billy Goat brother's for me!"

So many arenas, so little time!

The following are potential answers you might want to try in different scenarios.

Where Do I Know You From?

"Group therapy at the rehab. I'm not surprised you don't remember me! You were pretty wasted!"

"Shh, we're supposed to be anonymous, remember?"

"Shh, they may still be looking for us."

"Wow! You do look familiar. Were you at Attica? I've only been out a week though I still insist that I didn't kill intentionally that guy. It was an accident!"

"You probably saw my picture on America's Most Wanted! I'm surprised you recognize me, that really wasn't my best photo!"

"Yeah, Man! You're that Dude from the Mother Ship, right?"

Buffalo and Skates

"You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd..."

I have "authority issues"! When anyone tells me to do something or not to do something, I have an overwhelming urge to do just the opposite!

When someone tells me I "CAN'T" do something...well, my personal anarchist whispers in my ear, "Let's Do It!"

There are a couple of activities the responsible adult in me just draws the line at. Not many, because of all the characters living inside me, the responsible adult holds a very minor part. I call her Mrs. Richardson and she really is a drag.

Roller skating in a buffalo herd is one thing she absolutely will not allow. Besides being head-butted into the next county, she says:
1)  We would get buffalo patty in our ball bearings and ruin our wheels.
2)  The terrain is too unpredictable and we could fall and skin our knees, elbows or break something.
3)   Wolves might mistake us for lame buffaloes and attack and eat us.

And most importantly of all:

4) Someone might see us and think we were crazy!

See, I told you she was a drag!

There are 8 other people living inside me. Most of us want to get our roller skates and find a buffalo herd. After a short meeting of the minds (get it?) we resolved that:

1)  A little shit never hurt anything.
2)  A small donation of skin to Mother Earth would be ok (especially the rough elbow and knee stuff.  Besides, we really like Superman band aids. We also have never had a cast before and it would be fun to gather signatures!
3) Wolves have gotta eat too!

And most importantly of all:

4) We will send out invitations to come watch us because sanity blows and so does Mrs. Richardson!